Strengthening Our Roots
Scroll to the end of the post for April’s Playlist!
April 2023 Focus
The First Chakra: Muladhara (Pt 2)
Trust, Healthy Boundaries, and Releasing Fear
“Always we hope someone else has the answer. Some other place will be better, some other time it will all turn out. This is it. No one else has the answer, no other place will be better, and it has already turned out. At the center of your being, you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
In case you need a refresher on what Muladhara is here’s the basics from last month…
Muladhara means root support. The first Chakra is located at the base of your spine and is also related to everything below that point on the body. It is associated with the element of Earth and the color red. This Chakra develops first and is based in needs being met, a sense of home, and relation to nature. It is our right to be here, our right to exist. Signs of a healthy root chakra are: good health, being well grounded, comfortable in body, feeling of trust in the world, stability, and the ability to relax and be still.
Last month we talked about how our roots give us Grounding, Health, and a sense of Home. This month we will delve deeper into venture into this foundational space of self into: self trust, healthy boundary setting, and releasing fear. Let’s be real You already know this, in fact you may already know most of what I’m about to write on these topics. As I write this blog post I ask myself “What do I have to say that is different or better than what hundreds have already said about these topics?”. Well, I admit it is not different or better that what you already know, but it is practice. No one can claim perfection and each time I slow down and come back to the basics (and the root chakra is the most very basic one) I am reminded of all the ways I shortchange myself and limit myself: by doubting myself, allowing others to guess at my needs because I haven’t taken the time to find out what they are, or falling into the pit of inaction induced by fear. So for review, for practice, for reminding yourself of the vital importance of you - here goes.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Trust - How many hundreds of children’s shows and books contain some form of “Believe in yourself”. It has become such a cliché and yet, like all repeated wisdom, it usually comes from a place of realizing a basic or universal need. Muladhara, your root is your foundation and if you can’t find ways to trust in yourself, your foundation is going to be quite precarious. If you are a regular client of mine, you have heard the above quote endlessly last month as we explored observing our most basic needs, including the need to be loved and to prioritize oneself. Love, belief, and trust are deeply connected emotions and I think the quote could read similarly that you deserve your own trust and belief. Trust is not automatic, it takes work. It is a gradual process involving increasing amounts of risk. If I trust myself it doesn’t mean I believe I will never fail. It means I know my gifts and limitations well (not perfectly) and I know that the decisions I make were made from the best I can do in that situation at that time. The better we get at trust, the easier it is to rebound from doubt. There will still always be doubt and that’s healthy to the extent that we are not perfect, but love and belief, pull us back to ourselves when doubt creeps in.
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
Boundaries- A boundary is a marker that communicates an end of one thing and beginning of the next. A fence with a gate which can be opened or closed is a healthy boundary. If you are an open field, It can be confusing for you or others around you. You don’t know where you are and neither do others. They may press into your field or stay too far away because they just don’t know. It’s possible for others over time to guess where you are and what you need, but it is unhealthy, and unkind and perhaps even manipulative. By contrast a solid brick wall will definitely let others know where you are, but it also cuts off communication and relationship (there may be times when this is necessary, but it is always painful). Thing always go better in my relationships when I remember to ask for what I need. The trouble is finding out exactly what that is. The journey we started last month becomes incredibly important now: getting to notice where you are and know what you need. If I’m having a bad day and I take a moment to reflect, I can then communicate to a friend “I just need a hug, not solutions right now.” I definitely struggle with setting boundaries, but overtime I’ve found that doing so can empower the people around me to do the same. Boundaries can look like many things and when what you need isn’t easy to ask for or may be counter to someone else’s expectations it’s important to TRUST that you’re doing the best you can even if imperfectly.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
Fear- Some of my fears are aversions related to risk, discomfort or unpleasant emotions. Others are fears of the unknown or ideas pushed on me, by society or others. Yet, others are related to real life danger. Fear does serve the healthy purpose of self preservation, but it is meant to be momentary, like “LION! RUN!” and once the danger has passed we let go of that heightened state. The root chakra is related to our sense of survival and our needs being met. Fear makes us hypervigilant and puts our bodies into a constant state of stress. Times when our needs were not met might live in our bodies as fear. It is important to learn what those fears are and understand them, to ask “Where did this fear come from?” and “How did it serve me?”. Then you can start the process of addressing what you need to release that fear and feel confident to meet similar challenges that arise whether the fear is about real danger or not, it is still very real to us and our bodies behave in the same way whether we fear risk and rejection or the lion. The thing is we are then limited to whatever box we build with that fear. It is not easy to release fear, but the reward is so beneficial because so much that we desire, lives on the other side of fear. Fear limits relationships by making impenetrable boundaries. Fear blocks our ability to trust ourselves or others. Love is doing the work of untangling what is inside, so that we can trust and form relationships.
YOGA IS THE ANSWER! Just kidding, but yoga is a really great place to practice all this stuff. In asana, or the physical practice of yoga we practice trust, boundaries and releasing fear. Yoga teaches you to trust your body with incremental challenge and trying new things. Of course, we have to really listen to our needs and set boundaries for ourselves and communicating with our teachers to make sure we are moving in a safe way within our limitations. Lastly, yoga teaches us what to do when the brain goes into the fight/flight/freeze mechanisms. Through relaxation we can slow down and explore where fear is taking hold. Breathing through intentional movement that may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable can really help with how we understand our emotions and aversions.
You live your whole life in your body, being connected to the earth gives you the foundation to go forth and grow. I will not claim it is easy to do any of this, we are on a journey, but I will say how beneficial it is to find the abundance of life through trusting yourself. Without connection to the earth we struggle to trust ourselves and form healthy relationships respecting ourselves and setting healthy boundaries. Fear holds us back from tapping into our true potential and living our best, most fulfilling lives. Come back to the basics, Sesame Street may have started the lesson, but it’s one we have to keep learning over and over and practicing to get better at.
Here’s April’s Playlist! (surprise it’s the same as March ;P because well… we are still in the root chakra and I really like it)
