What Does an Open Heart Mean?
Scroll to the end of the post for July and August’s Playlist!
July and August 2023 Focus
The Fourth Chakra: Anahata (Unstruck)
Love, Balance, Healing, and Compassion
Anahata means unstruck, like a bell that rings without being hit. How do we translate that as love? Well, we can say the cooperation and integration of differing parts without clashing or striking each other— the open space between of harmony. This is the chakra of the heart, lungs, and arms. It is associated with the element of air and the color green. This chakra develops from 4 to 7 years of age. In early childhood we develop relationship and are able to understand service and love as a choice rather than an instinct. It represents the right to love and be loved. Characteristics of a healthy heart chakra are: compassion, empathy, self-love, altruism, peace, balance, and a healthy immune system.
Last month, I took a pause from writing these blogs to take care of myself. This month will be my last blog post before I take my maternity leave, so we are going to focus on The Heart Chakra and dig deeper into the the center of the chakra system. Our heart is only truly balanced only when our other chakras are. In order to find true love for ourselves and unconditional love for others we need: safety and basic needs met, our desires and pleasures balanced, and a healthy ego (Chakras one, two and three). Not a simple task, but just remember, it’s a journey not a destination and I’m on that trek of discovery with you. If you missed my blogs about the lower chakras they are there for you anytime.
“There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy
All you need is love”
Open Mind, Open Heart- Where to start when we talk about love? Love is both the most simple, instinctive of emotions and also the most complex. I’ll start then with the things we can choose and nurture in ourselves on our journey to be more compassionate and empathetic humans. The first thing is non-judgment. The job of our brain is help us make sense of the world, but when we don’t have all the information we can fill in the blanks in harmful ways. Positive or negative expectations can leave us feeling disappointed or discouraged with ourselves and others. No one is omniscient so start by acknowledging the gaps in your understanding and sit in the now. We learn to judge ourselves and then turn that critical gaze on others. An open mind means curiosity, patience and letting go of the need to be right or in control. An open heart is one flowing with love; able to give and receive from the infinite cosmic supply. Like any skill, non-judgment is a process that takes time, be patient in learning patience.
“Love without action is meaningless and action without love is irrelevant.”
Service- Love in action is service. Serving others is one of the best ways to care for your own heart. We were made for connection, to both give and receive. This is where the third and fourth chakra find their synergy. Your ego reminds you not to give too much of yourself away and your heart pulls you out of self-importance and navel gazing. Thinking only of others or thinking only of yourself is disastrous for your mental and emotional health, but balance in these brings fulfillment and peace.
Everyday Service- Think of one thing you can do to support a friend or family member this week; give a ride, help with housework/yardwork, make a meal, surprise care package, or simply call or visit and let that person know how grateful you are for them in your life. Something you don’t normally do and pause to see how it makes you feel.
Out in the World- Next, see if you can do the same thing for your local community, or for the wider world. Volunteer! There are so many worthy causes that need support; national parks, animal shelters, nursing homes, food banks, soup kitchens, disaster relief, climate and pollution mitigation and so much more. Donating to such causes is another beautiful act of service. Be an activist for social justice issues that you are passionate about. Vote!
The heart chakra includes your arms, how you reach out to touch the lives of others figuratively and literally. Love with your heart and also your hands.
Melancholy, a sculpture created by Albert Gyorgy
Imbalanced Heart- We can set ourselves up for success by taking care of our needs, setting healthy boundaries, cultivating healthy pride and humility and these things can make it easier to heal hurts because they make us more resilient. But we are complicated beings it’s very easy to have excess or deficiency in the Heart Chakra especially where other people are involved. Hurt can crush us or teach us to close off from the world. Some traits of in balance in a person can be:
Excess
Codependency
Poor Boundaries
Demanding
Clingy
Jealousy
Overly sacrificing
Martyr mentality
Deficiency
Withdrawal
Judgmental
Intolerance
Fear of relationships
Lack of empathy
Narcissism
Loneliness, isolation
Healing the Heart- When we love there is the constant risk of loss, rejection, drama, and betrayal. Yet as many love songs affirm, love is worth the risk. In some ways that is part of what makes love so beautiful. There are many practices we can use to heal the heart and bring ourselves back into balance. First though we need to identify where our lower chakras are
Root: What do I need to feel safe? Ex. Boundaries, exit from harmful situation, emotional safety
Sacral: What do I need to understand my emotions? Ex. Affirmation, closure, time, space to process
Ego: Where do I stand? Ex. Anger, sadness, closing off, grasping for control, losing hope
Healing from hurt is necessary because old wounds that haven’t been resolved find ways to turn sour and infect our life. Sometimes problems are too big for us to sort out ourselves, if you have trouble identifying what you need for safety and reflection and where you are, the best thing you can do is talk about it with someone. Maybe a trusted friend outside the situation or a therapist. I can not count the number of times a path out of hurt opened up because I could vent to a friend, commiserate with a coworker, or process with my therapist.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you”
Forgiveness- The biggest and hardest pathway out of hurt. Before we talk more about forgiveness, let me be clear about what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is NOT excusing bad behavior. Forgiveness is NOT allowing injustice to win. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting harm or allowing yourself to be harmed again. Forgiveness is freedom from the event or person that caused you harm. You stop the cycle of anger and negative thoughts so you can move on with your life. Forgiveness is incredibly powerful and there have even been studies proving the positive health outcomes of forgiveness. In observational studies and even some randomized trials, forgiveness is associated with: reduced levels of anxiety, depression, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction.
How to Forgive- Start by trying to be objective. It’s important in the process not to diminish your feelings or to downplay the wrong that was done to you. However, there are as many viewpoints as there are people and other factors may change how you see what happened. Can you empathize with the other party? Maybe not with the action, but with the situation that led to it? Consider your own flaws and shortcomings. Have you lashed out or hurt someone because you were hurting? Think about what forgiveness has done for you. Then decide to forgive and stick with it. You may need to affirm your decistion multiple times before the emotional forgiveness can catch up with the decisional forgiveness, but keep at it. It can be really hard, but it is worth it. If you start small you might find you can build up your ability to forgive. Can you forgive a car who cut you off in traffic? Can you release anger from someone making a small mistake? Can you forgive yourself for something you don’t have control over anyway?
Anahata, the melodious sound of love. Let love open your heart, guide you to serve others with compassion and empathy, and hold you safe in healing and forgiveness.
Here’s July and August’s Playlist!
